McRINGTAIL — Ramsey McRingtail is a chain-smoking prosecutor whose politics put him somewhere to the right of Mussolini. Prone to violence, he also has a great deal of pride in his ethnic heritage (Scottish raccoon), and therefore tends to fly into a rage whenever someone mistakes him for a cat.
SIMON – Simon is McRingtail’s gay brother. A perpetual ball of rainbow sunshine, he always supports his brother, even though the two rarely agree. Simon’s hobbies include gourmet cooking, fashion, and meeting men in Macy’s bathroom stalls.
DUNCAN — Duncan Roosterstein is one of McRingtail’s best (put another way, “only”) friends. His pastimes include working out and, being kosher poultry, forwarding the Zionist-Neocon conspiracy for world domination. Realizing that his country comes before his marriage, he recently sent his wife to Iraq to earn the big bucks with Haliburton. If you ask her, though, she says she ran away.
